My Body Image
Anxiety , Mental Health / December 22, 2018

This post may go a little bit all over the place, but only because it is one of the most emotional part of mental illness for me. Whenever I would think of mental illnesses before I experienced one myself, I always thought that they only affected a person’s brain. Therefore, you could never tell who was struggling with mental illnesses unless you talked to them directly about it. However, when I look at myself today, I wonder how someone could possibly look at me without thinking that I was sick. My mental illness is not hidden. My body has gone through transformations that I could not even imagine in the past year. So today, I am going to take you on a walk through the past year of my life with anxiety as documented through pictures of my body. This is so incredibly hard for me to post, because even looking at these pictures brings me to tears, but I think that it is important to be transparent, and to also let other people know that they are not alone. My Body Before Anxiety You will have to excuse the low-quality IPhone 5 photo from two summers ago, because I…

Why I Don’t Take Medication for My Anxiety
Anxiety , Mental Health / December 11, 2018

I have disclosed in a previous post (my review of multiple anxiety relief methods, you can view it here), that I do not use medication for my anxiety. There are a lot of different opinions on whether or not medication should be taken for anxiety, and to what extent. Before I begin, I just want to say that every person is different. What works for me may not work for someone else. My experience will be different than anyone else’s, and not everyone will share my views on this. That is okay. I am not asking for you to submit to my viewpoints, I just want to share what my experience has been and give the reasons for not taking medication. I found alternate opinions extremely helpful when I was first trying to navigate the world of mental health, and I also would like you to get to know me a little bit better. My Experience with Anxiety Medication: It was in January of 2018 that I first went to the doctor for my anxiety. I had been told by my counselor at the time that it may help me to stay in school, and to work through my feelings for the…

A Letter to My Anxiety
Anxiety , Mental Health , Uncategorized / December 10, 2018

Dear Anxiety,  Since you happen to be around for 99% of my day, I figured it was time that I addressed you directly. I used to hate you with a burning passion. You stole my life. You took me from a fiesty, independent woman with great opportunities ahead of me, and turned me into a dependent, suffering shell of myself. You took my career, my degree, my relationships, and my freedom. At night after a panic attack you left me crying alone in the bathroom, wondering why you had chosen me, what I had done to deserve such a cruel fate.  I stayed in that state for months. Apathetic, loathing you and loathing myself. I didn’t try to change. You had me beat, convinced that I didn’t deserve a better life, and that even if I did, I wasn’t strong enough to beat you.  But you know what, anxiety? Something changed. I don’t hate you anymore. I don’t hate myself anymore. I am not weak, and I can beat you. There are parts of you that actually help me in life. You let me know when I am getting too in over my head, which was a skill I never…

%d bloggers like this: