Words of Freedom
Uncategorized / December 8, 2018

Over a year ago, when I first began having issues with anxiety at work, I wrote a poem. I have always been a writer, and have a certain soft spot for poetry. In that moment, I really wanted to capture what an anxiety attack felt like through writing. I jotted it down on a piece of scrap paper and shoved it into the pocket of my uniform. I forgot about that poem for the most part until months later when I was working for my college’s fine arts magazine. We were doing an open mic, and the head of the magazine wanted me to perform. I knew that I had the piece, but I did not feel comfortable sharing it with my friends from school. At this point no one besides a few close friends knew that I had issues with anxiety. I overcame my nerves and recited the poem to the mostly silent crowd of peers. It was such an empowering moment for me, and one that will stay with me for a very long time. It is so hard to be vulnerable with those who know you, and worries of criticism and hate abound. Yet, once those fears…

I'm Not Failing, I'm Growing
Uncategorized / December 2, 2018

Throughout anxiety, I have been struggling with a large misconception about the way that recovery is viewed. I also have had problems with using unhealthy language to guage my “outings”. In order to overcome my agoraphobia, it is extremely important to push myself and leave the house. My therapist and I have talked extensively about how to go about improving myself and my life. Let me be honest: leaving my house is not easy for me. When I try to go out places it is not always sunshine and glaring success. Therefore, in the eyes of my therapist, progress is not immediately fleeing from the situation I am feeling anxious in. Progress is working through the feelings, and practicing overcoming my anxiety. However, I have an issue with that system. I have always been an “over-achiever”, and I get extremely impatient when a situation does not resolve as quickly as I would have wanted it to. While a year may not seem to be an extended period of time, when you are stuck in your house, or within ten minutes of your house, it becomes a very long time. I always fall into a bad habit when I am working…

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