Words of Freedom
Uncategorized / December 8, 2018

Over a year ago, when I first began having issues with anxiety at work, I wrote a poem. I have always been a writer, and have a certain soft spot for poetry. In that moment, I really wanted to capture what an anxiety attack felt like through writing. I jotted it down on a piece of scrap paper and shoved it into the pocket of my uniform. I forgot about that poem for the most part until months later when I was working for my college’s fine arts magazine. We were doing an open mic, and the head of the magazine wanted me to perform. I knew that I had the piece, but I did not feel comfortable sharing it with my friends from school. At this point no one besides a few close friends knew that I had issues with anxiety. I overcame my nerves and recited the poem to the mostly silent crowd of peers. It was such an empowering moment for me, and one that will stay with me for a very long time. It is so hard to be vulnerable with those who know you, and worries of criticism and hate abound. Yet, once those fears…

My Husband Is My Rational Mind
Uncategorized / December 6, 2018

Most of the time, I deal with my anxiety by myself. My husband works a 9-5 job, he has obligations, he has friends to see. I try as much as possible not to keep him from doing what he loves, even though I cannot participate. Therefore, I have an average of 9-12 hours a day where I am completely alone at our apartment. For that portion of the day, I handle my anxiety. Yet, it is always a relief when I see my husbands headlights turning into the driveway (darn you winter with your darkness at 4:45). The reason I am so relieved is because my anxiety is handled differently when my husband is home. When I am alone, I use survival techniques the majority of the time. I do yoga, take a shower, get fresh air, distract myself. When I am anxious, I am not normally in the state of mind to “self-talk”, and therefore cannot convince myself that the anxious thoughts that I am having are not rooted in reality. I just use another method ot get through the panic. This is okay on a surface level basis, because I am able to cope on my own and…

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